Whiskey Dick Old No. 69 is totally real and totally available for $11.99 a bottle. It is a water-based, booze-flavored massage oil that, according to the website, is “aged four years in white oak casks”, guaranteeing a “velvety-smooth finish”. You might spot it at this weekend’s Exxxotica Expo at the Miami Beach Convention Center.

The lube won a triple gold medal at the 10th Annual Great American Sex and Drinking Festival in Bean Station,Tennessee (how did we miss covering that event), and won the quadruple gold medal at the Pan-European Schmiermittel Festival in East Berlin, Germany. Read more….

Advertisements